What a ... searingly honest post. You certainly got me right, my grudge is real and it helps me not. It's all I have to hold on to, honestly. Ouch, what a painful handhold on life. Giving it up seems impossible. Yet it's true that it would be a nasty burden to take with me. Forgive and forget seems unbearable a task. And when I really think about it, it's myself that I hold in anger and un-forgiveness. Argh, how great a task, can I shoulder it? I sure don't want to. I guess this is admitting I'm crazy. We all are, but some of us...
I'm so glad that this isn't readable by all of our Members!
Daniel, you are an extremely important person in my life. This is over quite a few years. In the "normal" course of events you will expire before me. And I will hurt over that forever. I can't speak for you, but should I die first please laugh as hard as you can. You probably won't be alone!
Of course it's readable to our Members. Your problems are not yours alone. There are NO personal problems. Just problems we all share.
Your being bullied by your uncontrollable emotions. This must stop...Now! You LET them take your music from you!!
I of course know what it's like, so does TR so does Gizmo. We have all been beaten to shit by our own emotions.
I have over come this. as you will. Your over indulging yourself when you should be laying down the law.
This is your new Law." I will not allow my own emotions to ruin what is otherwise alright.
Our emotions are one of the most beautiful things about being human. But like all good things they must be brought to know their limitation.
This is where we all must draw the line. When our emotions begin to cripple our behavior. When our own emotions are willing to steal away our music from us.
Emotions are not to be trusted out of hand. Each emotion must prove it's worth to us to be allowed to express itself. In the past I allowed my emotions to drag me down every rat hole the mind can conceive of and the only thin I gained from it is the sure and certain knowable that I can ALWAYS make myself feel worse. It truly is a bottomless pit.
"But I can't help the way I feel!"
Of course you can!! That's the beauty part.!
Your thoughts create your emotion. Think your wife is untrue? that's a good one! powered by doubt and fear men and women have destroyed their marriages over such negative emotion.
"But what if she is"
It is the same as if she is true. Either way the way we think about her will determinate how we feel about her.
Tame the cur who would take your music from you. I know...It tells you that your sensitive and that you are communing with your deepest feelings...Hell man it will tell you anything if it lets emotion continue to harm you.
We most often experience this world with our feelings, strange to say feelings are not emotion. Feelings are the precursors of emotion. This is the point at which to interceded and prevent our feeling which can tell us many things about our world from taking over and telling us what our permanent attitude should be,
To make such determinations is serious business.
And we should listen to our feelings as well as as our thoughts. But emotion can be a nasty thing that wants to dominate both feeling and reason.
Join the battle George! Retake your own heart. Sit down with the Music you love and Kill the emotion that would take that from you.
Stop overindulging yourself and the music will play as it once did...just for you.
WE grow old but from some things we can never retire. We must alway be vigilant or we suffer unnecessary loss.
Your suffering unnecessary loss. Welcome joy back into your heart and let me and God sort out the rest.LOL