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Ok! So let's follow this and see where it leads us! ":O}

When you say you realize your un-goodness That has to be a thought assessment rather than a direct perception....unless your feeling physically ill or unwell.
These are just some of thoughts you have (we all have) concerning yourself.

They range from I'm a pretty good fellow to I'll burn forever.":O}

These type of thoughts are only useful when tied to a specific act in a specific circumstance.

As an indicator of our worthiness they are worse than useless as they depress the hell out of us.

"All thoughts that go beyond the immediate situation only make the heart sore.

So instead of waiting for the now you decided (Everyone does you know!) That you would get some thinking in.
Not surprising as:

"the heart thinks constantly this can not be helped.
But the movements of the heart that is a man's thoughts should be restricted to the immediate situation at hand.."
I -Ching

with such thoughts we are mostly just trying to match how we feel and how we are with how we are doing morally.

Need I remind us that J.C. was doing his very best work when he was just hanging around, doing nothing but enduring pain and waiting to die.on the cross,the intersection of the temporal and the eternal.

How we feel can be very misleading.

She who gave birth in the dust of time at the dawn of humanity must surly have thought she was dying!

Laying there waiting. for all that was to come was to come thought her travail.

There is true poetry in the fact that if we want to enter into the Now..We must be nourished and for nourishment we must wait...we must wait in the now

"Thoughts are like forest deer
watch them long enough and they disappear."

What I feel is most important is that we begin in stillness and gentleness.

Absolutely nothing can be gained here by force. Weakness and impatience can accomplish nothing here..
.There is a VERY real sense in which you will need to gain your selfs permission to grow still, to rest quietly upon and enter gently into waiting now.
A thousand thoughts crop up. we get irritable and start thinking of better ways to spend our time.

Let them come watch them go. like forest deer. everything is in the now.past present, future.
Wait for it and the now arrives right on time.

"God may not be there when you want him.
But he's always there on time.
From an old Black Gospel

So we resolve ourselves to sit and wait unlit the now each day.
But every thing we have left ourselves open to all our lives (Distraction).

calls up endless desires for us to consider.
Weakness and impatience can do nothing.

These are the deer we need to watch without participation.
Thus coming at lest in the moment, to quite.
Likes and dislikes fade and we begin to get a sense of the equality of all things
As we observe we are observed.

as this sense of equality grows so does objectivity. Nothing needs to be hidden, nothing needs to be promoted.

Be kind to yourself for a student learns quickly from a kind and gentle master...so be such and gain much.

There is no end game here. No place you have to go. nothing you have to gain or lose.

When distracting thoughts become pesky I suggest you use the two edge sword of Manjusery a Tibetan God.
It cuts both ways, you benefit your self as you benefit others. It's like a totally easy thing to swing it!

When thoughts start to form you repeat endlessly or until they stop.
"Cutting, cutting,cutting,cutting.
When you stop to admire yourself cutting,cut that to! Slice thinking into so many pierces all you can do is observe and observe the observer cutting cutting cutting.

So like...we could try living in the tomorrow...But I 'd have to advice against living it the past...that's where all our mistakes are Yikes!! ":O}

Let me know how you do with this?

Letting the now be is much easier if we aren't trying to get anywhere...If we can content ourselves with what is.
But are minds are programed to seek...Hence cutting cutting cutting...":O}

In a world this..."Lively" If we want it to stop...We must be the still point in the spinning world.
There's simply no other way.

"What is not sought in the right way will not be found...no matter how great our effort."
I-Ching

Theirs (Ancient China) was a refinement seldom equaled and never surpassed.

I found the I-Ching when still a boy of 17. By the time I was twenty nothing else could really hold my interest.
It's generosity towards me is without equal as patient as a pool of clear water.

No matter how often I rebelled and insisted on going my own way into personal and spiritual catastrophe,
The Ching Was there awaiting my return to sanity so in could continue it's instruction as if I had never strayed.

Now if one considers the I-Ching as having Value only as a record of Chinese thought as well as the mores of their times; That I could return endlessly to the pool I myself had muddied and find it as deep and clear as ever shouldn't be to surprising, a book is after all an inanimate object

The I-Ching is an Oracle.
What that exactly is no man knows.
But an Oracle interacts with the questioner.
You ask, it answers. Any Who would approach the oracle Must meet two prerequisites.

The first is a natural Piety One must revere the spirit that rules this world. The second is humility. that arises out of innocence. One must meet this criteria each and every time one goes to the Oracle.

One must approach the Oracular in humility. You need it's guidance, it needs you not at all!

I have failed to do this times without number. It's truth can be unbearable at times and completely unacceptable!

I have cursed and sworn at the book so many times I could never count my trips to self deception.

But when I come clear and can listen again a calm clear forgiving pool awaits me.

And once again I realize that the only differences between my views and the books can be found in my error and in my ignorance.

I know nothing that I have not learned from the I-Ching. I have only that refinement that I have gained from my association with the I-Ching.

I was brought to worship a God by the reverence shone to the Divine by the I-Ching.
I have learn to define men by the yardstick of it's authors and their devotion to the good.

And if ever if feel the need to exalt myself Those sages stand there in the mist of time sending their wisdom as well as their affection for all mankind. And I must abase myself before their spiritual achievements.

In the end one never masters an Oracle, at best one learns to serve one.

Yet I can say without a doubt When I question the Oracle I am speaking to a someone. A presence abides on the other side of my question, understands my question and gives me the ONLY completely correct answer.

Ah! Had I only a completely correct understanding of that answer!!

But then...Why would I need an Oracle! ?

One must go to meet an Oracle. and one must approach in the proper manner. Questions implying doubt or mistrust of an Oracle are ignored.

Learning to collect one self and avoid impatience are among the lessons it never stops teaching at ever level of understanding.
The I-Ching Embodies the virtues it would teach...If one would learn them.

All you need now is a copy of the I-Ching

.It is rather like a well fed by clear spring water. Generation after generation can affirm the purity of the waters. Make of yourself a bucket and draw the water to the surface where it can be used.":O}

Well....as you've no doubt guessed I never tire when it comes to discussion of the truths of life.
After all the proper assessment of the nature of reality is fundamental to our well being.

Alas men do go astray.

An Oracle If one assumes the proper stance before it; can forewarn you when you've taken a wrong turn in your thinking, before one acts and can no longer correct ones mistakes.

For this Book, the highest good a man can achieve is to be in position to correct ones mistakes. Error is inherent in human growth processes.. Further the book can tell you what time it is!. When we act is at nearly as important as how we act.

" The sage can indeed be mistaken, but never entrapped. For he is always in position to correct his mistakes."

There are questions that are beneficial to ask at the very beginning of one's relationship with an Oracle as they "color" the way one will see yourself represented.

For instance my vocation as given to me by The Book is the "Wanderer"
"The wander has no place that will receive him.His home is the road. He who has few friends this is the wanderer."

These questions are not to my knowledge available in print. I have them from my teacher and from my own 50 year relationship with The Book.

Should you decide to look further into this, E-mail or PM me and I'll give them to you as well as how to best employ then to your advantage.

If your looking for a change....This is the Book of Changes....No one and no thing has seen me through the changes like this Book. Few compare and none surpass it's power to transform the basic animal nature of man.

.So maybe it could help you? ":O}

We be cool. ":O}