Hydrocele. May you never have one!

After one becomes an oldus phartus a myriad of maladies may befall you. I got lucky and needed hydrocele repair surgery on the penultimate day of 2020.
Simply put one of your testicles may swell to an enormous size. Being a Right Thinking American my right one attained a majesty of perhaps five times the normal size over about a year. It was Glorious!

Need I say this is an unfortunate state of affairs? How privileged I was to experience this flowering of late manhood! One SO looks forward to Mr Surgeon's sharp knife brandished in this part of one's humanity.

I'm greatly enjoying the denouement. They sent me home with a generous amount of painkillers, a whole five 5mg Oxycodone tablets. For a sliced scrotum and scary removal of material and refolding of Mr Testicle. Who do I sue?

Could have been far, far worse. Thank you all for your generosity in supplying the surgery for free! The VA is truly a blessing in one's declining years!

Thank you for your empathy, Daniel! For some reason I had a great majority of male nurses, females only in passing. Maybe that was a good thing? All I know is that when I woke up after the surgery a male nurse was standing on my right side ready with morphine to inject into that right wrist temporary permanent immediate blood stream access doohickey. The sting was strong and I felt different in my right testicle. Two and two thirds injections helped immensely.

There are many maladies that can befall us after we enter near obsolescence. I still need serious prostate surgery, so it's good that this literal obstacle was removed. Funny, women were not at all interested in such a lopsided ball bag. Quite alright, mistah dick has been only good for pissing for more than ten years. With the aid of thousands of catheters that is. So FAST old so SLOW smart. Sorry to welcome you to my nightmare, but thank you very much for "asking!"

Ps. Perhaps hanging around too FEW women brought this on?

LOL! Not really. Or maybe I wish?

Thank you for the kind and caring sentiment Dan! As you read, these kind of ailments don't lend themselves to broadcasting. Unfortunately, I read somewhere back a few years that people praying for your recovery or wellness actually make the outcome worse. Counterintuitive, yet so many things are.

Your left or right penile accouterment may decide to swell to hitherto unimaginable proportions. It's a bit entertaining at first but the laughs go out the window soon enough. Ttbmk I committed no crime that brought on this punishment. But another feature of getting old is that your past sins come back to haunt you in more detail and sometimes become magnified to their true importance. Maybe this can be manifested physically?

Accentuate the positive. Sorry to report the hideous truth about my getting decrepit. But so glorious an experience demands to be "shared." Me so bad.

Madonna This, Madonna That. Her first video and song are memorable for their idiocy. I admit that she had some great songs over the years, but my ears can't recall a single one. So I'm happy to drop her into the memory hole she deserves.

I'm recovering from the Hydrocele (pronounced "hydroseal") repair surgery. I have serious doubts about how small the recently gigantic garbanzo bean will become. Kinda looks like it'll NEVER shrink to formerly normal size. Let this be a warning to you young man.

Have PLENTY of sex while you still can. Don't think that has anything to do with sex, but good advice is still good advice.

Happy Birthday and many more happy ones to come! Enjoy!

I have no answers and no idea if anti-prayer is a good thing. Just sounded delightfully negative at the time. My BAD.

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This is dead on, never thunk of it like this. Thanks for this statement.